"I will let him go."

When your child is diagnosed with a terminal illness, you start little collections. Pictures that document the way Alan was, the way he will never be again. The first outfit I made for Alan. Art work kept for years in a closet, now precious. Notes from school. His signature on a piece of paper. A cassette tape with his 4 year old voice calling out to me. I can hardly bear to listen to it now, and it may be unbearable later.

Today I added an article from the New York Times by the author Emily Rapp. Her 18 month old son is dying of Tay Sachs disease. I collected this article because one of the statements in her article made me catch my breath.

Here's what she said:

"What I can do is protect my son from as much pain as possible, and then finally do the hardest thing of all, a thing most parents will thankfully never have to do: I will love him to the end of his life, and then I will let him go."


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