One Foot In Front of the Other

We laid my mother to rest on a beautiful, warm, summer day.  My brother, sister, and I sat together on the front row, spouses, children, and extended family behind us, friends standing just inside the shade of the canopy. Lacy was not there  He is and he isn't nowadays.  He's part of our family, conspicuous by his absence. He is the guest unable to attend, the member that others always ask about, the invisible, the loved, the fading.  He is in our hearts continually, but it is easier for everyone - including Lacy - if he does not attend large gatherings.  This is the far-reaching effect of Huntington's Disease. My mother was so precious to all of us, but for Lacy, she was the calm in the storm.  He was never angry with Grandma.  She could fuss over him, wipe his face, or hug him with no reaction on his part.  Grandma gave him a feeling of safety that neither Kenny nor I could give him.  He will mourn her in his own way, and he will miss her calming presence. There is

"There is an appointed time for everything..."   Ecclesiastes 3:1 Tonight I am spending the night with my sweet mother in the Hospice Home where Kenny works.   Mom has been diagnosed with lung cancer, and is now bedridden and in hospice care. Only two weeks ago, Mom went out to eat with us.  We laughed and talked about old times.  On Thursday of last week we found out about the cancer, Friday we had to move her to a nursing home, and Sunday her condition deteriorated so much she had to go into inpatient hospice. My heart is heavy.  Yes, there is an appointed time, and yes, God was not surprised at this turn of events, but the pain is still intense.  And the peace passes all understanding. So many wonderful memories flood my mind, and my heart swells until it feels it will burst.  Memories of how just the touch of my mother's hand could ease my fears, calm my emotions, and comfort me in my distress.  And now I have the chance to give back to her - easing, calming,

Lacy is doing well this summer.  In spite of falling more, he is generally happy and our visits have been pleasant on the whole.  We are making plans for our 2nd Annual Team Hope Walk on October 12. I think both Kenny and I are feeling a bit more pragmatic about Lacy's health and the progression of the HD.  Although the disease is progressing, it is a slow progression right now.   Right now, we are in a holding pattern - as I describe it to friends and physicians - and the status quo is ok.  It won't last, but then nothing does.  As my friend Jenny would say, "Good times, bad times; they never last." I've also re-discovered My Utmost for His Highest  by Oswald Chambers this summer.  I always wonder why I put this incredible devotional book down at all, but sometimes I do.  When i pick it back up I am always comforted and reminded that there is only one thing that is needful.  I feel like I am sometimes so concerned with so many things, and I welcome the remind