We laid my mother to rest on a beautiful, warm, summer day.  My brother, sister, and I sat together on the front row, spouses, children, and extended family behind us, friends standing just inside the shade of the canopy.

Lacy was not there  He is and he isn't nowadays.  He's part of our family, conspicuous by his absence. He is the guest unable to attend, the member that others always ask about, the invisible, the loved, the fading.  He is in our hearts continually, but it is easier for everyone - including Lacy - if he does not attend large gatherings.  This is the far-reaching effect of Huntington's Disease.

My mother was so precious to all of us, but for Lacy, she was the calm in the storm.  He was never angry with Grandma.  She could fuss over him, wipe his face, or hug him with no reaction on his part.  Grandma gave him a feeling of safety that neither Kenny nor I could give him.  He will mourn her in his own way, and he will miss her calming presence.

There is so much to say about my mother.  In the next few days, I want to get my thoughts together and publish some kind of tribute to her beyond these few words.  For now, it is enough to say that Lacy has lost a grandmother and a haven from the storm of HD.  Our family lost one of our staunchest allies and a kind and loving presence in our lives.  I have lost my mother.


  1. We told Lacy about how ill his Grandma Londagin was using FaceTime with Debbie at her side. His reaction was to begin praying loudly invoking the Lord to heal her with his hand outstretched "Let her throw away her walker and be healed... by the Thorns on my brow" [his words].
    We brought Lacy to the private family time at Visitation. He knows the love of his family for him and the aching absence of his grandma.
    I will miss my wonderful mother-in-law.


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