Showing posts from February, 2013

"Look who's taking care of who now..."

My mother is settling in to her apartment at the assisted living center.  The change was hard, and was stressful for all concerned.  My sister and I took turns staying with Mom for a couple of nights, just to make sure she felt comfortable.

The second night she was there was a tough one.  She was angry and overwhelmed; didn't like the food, didn't like the staff, didn't like the medication schedule.  She didn't know how to work her TV and felt angry about that.  I could tell that she was upset, and that she didn't want to be in such turmoil.  She was mourning the changes in her life.  How well I understood her disorientation.

We talked about the years she spend taking care of the four of us - Dad, my two siblings, me - and she looked up at me from her recliner:  "Look who's taking care of who now."

The appreciation I feel for the love and care our parents took in raising us and teaching us how to live as respectful human beings is deep.  Mom often a…

...everything but love...

Our boy was happy to see us on Valentine's Day.  We came at dinner time.  When he heard our voices he turned.  "My sweet beloved mom and my sweet beloved dad are here!"  Several of his friends looked up and the collective whispered acknowledgement "Lacy's mom and dad," went around the table.

I'd found a little stuffed dog with big, round eyes and a heart around his neck - Eye Love You.  Lacy has always had an affection for stuffed animals, so I knew he would like this one; and he did.  We waited as he finished his dinner; waited as he went to the door to speak to people who are not there.  We waited until he was able to stop and look at us for those few precious moments of connection.  
Kenny and I wanted to take advantage of the eye contact and the amiable mood "Can we have a hug?" Smiling that sweet Lacy smile, he reached to put his arms around our shoulders to hug us lightly.  "A kiss?"  I asked.  He leaned ever so slightly my wa…

Sandwich - Let's Share

You've heard of the "sandwich generation."  I've heard it in reference to the generation of baby boomers who are caring for elderly parents and children/grandchildren.  I'll have mine with a dollop of peace and clarity, thank you very much.

A week ago, my mother endured a medical crisis.  After trying to call her and receiving no answer, we called a neighbor to check on her.  When the neighbor entered the house, all the lights were off, and Mom was wandering around disoriented and confused.  We got her to the hospital and with IV antibiotics and fluids she began to improve.   My sister and her family packed up and came to Mom's house to be available for whatever was needed.  I can't imagine what would happen if either one of us was to have to manage this on our own.  My brother lives away, but we have been in contact frequently, and he is calling Mom to encourage her as she gets better. After three days in the hospital, Mom is now in rehab and will be goi…