Never Separated

It seems that the older I get, the more I have little ideas and thoughts niggling at the back of my brain.  I'll realize that I've been feeling overwhelmed or that I am worrying deep in my heart.  I have to stop and ask myself what I am worrying about.  Have I forgotten something?  Is there a deadline I am ignoring that I need to address?  Is it just a feeling or is it some burden that I am carrying without confronting it head on?

Last weekend, Kenny and I went to Little Rock.  I was attending and presenting a session at an educational conference there.  We spent the night in a hotel.  My sleep was fitful.  Maybe it was that I wasn't in my own bed. (Yes, I'm at that age!!) But I realized I was also feeling anxious.

In the last few weeks, Lacy has become quieter.  I don't mean that he is not still volatile at times, or that he is suddenly compliant.  He is getting quieter; his voice is disappearing.  Sometimes he barely speaks, only smiles and nods at us.  He struggles to make himself understood.  We watch helplessly as he continues to slip away.  It is this that makes me anxious, and that can overwhelm me if I don't attend to my mind and thoughts.  I am anxious when we are far away from Lacy.

In response, I often turn to the words of Paul from Romans:  "For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present (HD), nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Yes, I believe am never separated from God.  But make no mistake, I acknowledge the pain.  Our way is difficult and full of tribulation.   "Life is pain," the Man in Black tells Buttercup. "Anyone who says differently is selling something." (The Princess Bride)


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