Simple solutions (sometimes) for complex problems
Our visits with Lacy on the weekends had become difficult. We always bring him a Sonic meal on Sunday after church. The food was never right. The drink was bad, or the burger was bad, or we were just plain bad parents. We often could only stay a few minutes before we would be ordered to leave or be "arrested" by the police who, in Lacy's mind, are only a few minutes away.
A few weeks ago, we ended our visit as Lacy screamed at us that we were guilty of "murderous threats" and would be put in jail with only a sliver of food a day.
Those Sonic meals ruined our visits, and it was as Lacy was screaming that I realized the solution - in this case - might be very simple. We would purchase a Sonic card for Lacy. His care worker could use the card to get lunch for Lacy. We would no longer be the bad guys.
This has been a godsend. We have had several visits now with Lacy that were calm and enjoyable. Last Sunday, we stayed for an hour, showing him our pictures from Washington, D.C. He knew the names of many of the monuments, and was excited to see pictures of the White House. He was smiling and happy when we left.
When Lacy was still at home, we had learned that when dealing with an autistic child just changing something simple could make a big difference. We've gotten rusty at those precious realizations. Remove the offending action or event. Sometimes, the problem is solved.
At least for now, we are enjoying a bountiful harvest of happy times.
A few weeks ago, we ended our visit as Lacy screamed at us that we were guilty of "murderous threats" and would be put in jail with only a sliver of food a day.
Those Sonic meals ruined our visits, and it was as Lacy was screaming that I realized the solution - in this case - might be very simple. We would purchase a Sonic card for Lacy. His care worker could use the card to get lunch for Lacy. We would no longer be the bad guys.
This has been a godsend. We have had several visits now with Lacy that were calm and enjoyable. Last Sunday, we stayed for an hour, showing him our pictures from Washington, D.C. He knew the names of many of the monuments, and was excited to see pictures of the White House. He was smiling and happy when we left.
When Lacy was still at home, we had learned that when dealing with an autistic child just changing something simple could make a big difference. We've gotten rusty at those precious realizations. Remove the offending action or event. Sometimes, the problem is solved.
At least for now, we are enjoying a bountiful harvest of happy times.
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