A window to his world

Last week, I asked my friend, Wanda Marie Clarke, to write an essay about her journey battling HD.  I woke up one morning with Wanda on my mind, and knew I needed to send her a message and ask her to be a guest writer on my blog.  The result was astonishing.  I knew Wanda was articulate and positive, but I had no idea her essay would be such a gift to us.  We have a window into Lacy Alan's world thanks to Wanda.

Lacy is not able to tell us what he feels.  We have to make an educated guess when he is frightened, confused, or overwhelmed.  Sometimes it can seem like we are watching a very disturbing "movie" when we are with him.  The distance we have always had between us due to his autism and developmental delay seems widened now that connections in his brain are being destroyed.  We want so desperately to connect, but we can't.  Even reaching out to him is by invitation only - it has always been this way - but is so much more pronounced when he is paranoid and delusional, thinking we are trying to hurt him.

Reading Wanda's essay yesterday was so powerful, I was speechless.  I understand what our son must be feeling.  As I prayed for him last night, I felt I could connect with him, and that I knew how to pray.  What a gift!

Thank you, Wanda, for being willing to share your journey, your struggles, and your faith.  You are a blessing, and your words will bless so many others who are on this road with you.


  1. Deborah - I was speechless when I read this and cried. YOU are a special lady and our meeting that day was meant to be. I was so inspired by you and your husband. You don't know how your words have helped me and the obvious unconditional love you have for Lacy is beautiful to see. Thank you so much for asking me to write and confirming for me what I have felt in my heart for a while now. You are a blessing and treasure.


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