Light in the Lone East

Lots of posts of an excerpt from the poem "The Gate of the Year" by Marie Louise Haskins go up on Facebook at the end of December and the first of January.

And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
"Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown!"
And he replied:
"Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way."

There are two more lines that don't usually show up that have made me think about a scripture and our current experience living with HD and its challenges:

So I went forth, and finding the Hand of God, trod gladly into the night
And He led me toward the hills and the breaking of day in the lone East.

Kenny and I went to see Lacy yesterday and he is not feeling well.  Although I might not have been too concerned with a bit of congestion and lethargy a few years ago, these symptoms worry me now.  I worry about aspiration pneumonia, as Lacy is having some trouble swallowing now.  Kenny is not as worried - he listened to Lacy's chest and examined him yesterday - but I am still concerned.

"… for I know Whom I have believed…"

As cautious as I am, I am also able to leave Lacy in God's hands.  This has not come easily.  It has taken me most of Lacy's life realize that there are many situations I cannot control.  The feeling of being in control - especially with all the issues we have had to face in the last 30 years - is an illusion.  God is in control, and I am learning to rest in that assurance.

"…and am persuaded that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him…"

I prayed for my boy last night, and left him in God's hands.  The Lord stays awake with our boy when we cannot.  It is times like these when I have tended to feel guilty in the past for not suffering with Lacy.  I have felt that I should quit my job and devote myself to his care.  But I am turning a corner and realizing how blessed we are that we have so many people around us to help carry the burden.  Lacy does not live with us, but he has caregivers whom he trusts and counts on to keep him safe.  We trust them too.   How fortunate that we have such support.

Living with HD is like walking into the unknown without a light.   I pray for families struggling with HD; that they will feel the support of friends, family, caregivers but most of all, know that God watches night and day, and that there will indeed someday be "...light in the lone East."

"I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him until that day." II Timothy 1:12


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