It's all in how you look at it...

Sunday we visited our boy as usual.  I made the mistake of ordering a lemonade for him with ice...he does not like ice in his drinks...and he was infuriated.

Earlier last week, I had bought Lacy Alan a couple of pairs of jeans with elastic waists.  He just can't navigate a button and belt.  While I was at it, I bought some fun t-shirts for summer and other items.   We had dropped his new clothes in his apartment.

His anger over the ice in his drink became the catalyst for the events that followed.  His new clothing ended up in the trash can, and he slammed and locked his apartment door behind him so that we couldn't get in.  His caregiver unlocked the door for us.

I talked with him about his clothing.  "Don't you like your new clothes?" I asked.

Glaring at me he snarled, "I don't have to answer that."

He got up and stomped past me to the garden, where he turned and began to talk to the tree there.

"Officer, do you see this woman?  She is vandalizing me.  And she is guilty of assault and battery.  And guilty of penalizing me."

One thing is true, all the talking we did with and around our son gave him a great vocabulary.

It just wasn't going to work on Sunday.  We asked Lacy to let us hug and kiss him;  it caught me by surprise when he turned and put his arm around each one of us in turn; not looking at us, but allowing the contact and a kiss on the cheek.

The clothes were retrieved from the trash and placed in the supervisor's office.  On Monday, his care worker was able to persuade him to try the jeans on to make sure they fit.

Sometimes these encounters are sort of funny, even when he is angry and delusional.  Regardless of his mood, it is always good to see him, to touch and interact with him.  Later this week, I'll go see him again and perhaps he will be happy then.

The happy and angry times seem to come now pretty regularly in about 30 minute cycles.   What is really amazing is that the people that care for our son have learned to roll with the waxing and waning of happiness.  How fortunate we are to have these wonderful people.

It is summer now.  School is out.  We will be able to bring Lacy Alan home with us more often to eat barbecue and visit with family.  Our extended family is very understanding, and loves to see Lacy, even when he is difficult to handle.

We are blessed with so much.  These blessings make the difficult times easier to endure.  


  1. Glad there are good times too. Tears come as I think about your pain and his. I am so thankful for your frienship with Emily and I. You have all been ahaving blessing in our lives.


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