The days of being

 Two years ago, I wouldn't have believed someone who told me that our lives would settle into some kind of normal rhythm, but they have.  We are coming up on the second anniversary of learning that Lacy was positive for HD.  On that day, I felt alone - even though Kenny, Lacy, and I were all together - and a sense of sheer horror.  I watched my son transfixed on the doctor's words.  He had no idea what had just happened.  Our world had just changed and everything had turned upside down.  Even now as I write this I feel the panic - that familiar numbness in my face and hands - the prick of tears in my eyes.

I asked for strength that day.  Standing in the bathroom at the clinic I stuffed paper towels over my mouth as I sobbed and begged for God to help us.

Now two years later, these are days of just being.  Being in the same room, being calm, being faithful.  These are days of sitting together in silence.  Of being quiet when Lacy rages at us.  Of being happy when he is happy.  These are days of lying on the bed next to him as he rests and running our hands through his hair.  Days of forehead and cheek kisses.  Days where touch is off limits.  We are being thankful.  We have a  rhythm to our lives.  God has given us the gift of being and that is enough for each day.


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