Memorial

I am thinking today of my sweet maternal grandmother, Velma, whose mood was always even, who always tried to see the best.  My grandma ate oranges with the rind and pith - that bitter peel - along with the sweet insides.  I often marveled at that, wondering why she would do that, and when I asked her, she would always smile and tell me that's the way she always ate oranges.  It was a metaphor for her life.  She had reason to be bitter - her life had not always been rosy - but she smiled and took the bitter with the sweet.  I believe she chose to put away the bad times and focus on the good and wonderful.   She had a hope for the future, and looked forward to the day when she would enter eternity with Jesus.

Grandma always made you feel that you were her favorite.  She had seven children, many grandchildren and great grand children, but if you were with her, one on one, you felt that you were the only one that mattered.  There was not one of her children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, or friends who did not love her.   In all my life, I hope to someday be a little bit like her.

I know that I attempt to keep that positive spirit.  I often think of Grandma, and remember her outlook, and her faith.  I know, if she were here, she would be encouraging me to put one foot in front of the other and trust the Lord.  Sometimes, though, I feel a sense of exhaustion; it's all too much.  I just want to curl up into a ball and go to bed, forget the challenges I have for a little while.

If you have a child with a disability, are dealing with a terminal illness, or a challenge of some kind, you know that feeling of exhaustion.  Strength is there so much of the time, but something happens, and that strength seems to seep out of your body like water through a sieve.   I felt that this week, and had to finally stop and give this sense of hopelessness to God.  Sometimes the only prayer we can pray is "Help."  And help will come "right quickly."

Did Grandma feel that feeling of exhaustion and helplessness?  I believe she did, as all of us do at times.  She still kept that positive spirit.

"Remember your leaders, those who spoke the Word of God to you; consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith."




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