Good days

We've had family, friends, and co-workers ask lately "How are you doing?  How is Alan?"

It's obvious that everyone who asks is thinking of us and praying for us.  It means a lot.  I've been thinking about the answer to that question.  Right now, the answer is pretty good on both fronts.

If you had told me this summer when Alan was diagnosed with Huntington's that I would be doing pretty well with the diagnosis, able to concentrate on work and home,  I would have been skeptical.  Kenny and I are doing well, Alan is in a good place right now.  I think what we are living with right now is so much better than what we were living with before Thanksgiving and Christmas, we feel fortunate.   Sometimes, when you hit a new "low" and things get better, the new normal - as abnormal as it is - is a relief.

We have days when it hits us;  we are dealing with an awful disease.  Alan stumbles, or loses his balance, and we can see the subtle decline.   This weekend, we moved Alan into an apartment with a walk-in shower and open spaces that will accommodate a walker or wheelchair.   We are so grateful, but we also know this is another move away from the future we had once dreamed of for Alan.

We are learning how to weather the storm of Alan's paranoid rants.  We can maintain our composure and not take the accusations personally.  Our lack of reaction helps him to calm himself and while he often does not seem to remember he has been abusive, on occasion he is able to apologize.

The facility that provides Alan's apartment and care workers is dedicated to him remaining there as long as possible. That is a true blessing.  When we look back, we can see how we were lead in the last few years to seek this placement, find just the right doctors, ask the right questions.  How can we doubt that God has prepared the way, and will give us strength for each day?


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