Thoughts on Gratitude

When I took my dogs, Roger and Violet, out this morning, the birds were singing.  It had stormed during the night and early morning hours, but the rain had passed for the moment.  Listening to the songs floating through the air, I thought How grateful they must be for a new day.  It got me thinking about gratitude and the role it has played in our lives, particularly since the death of our son, Lacy.

Years ago, I learned the power of gratitude to uplift and encourage in hard times.  Lacy was in the hospital, on a ventilator, with strep pneumonia.  All together, he would be there for over a month.  The first three weeks were the worst, since he was in ICU and we could only visit three times a day.  I'd go in during the visiting hours and pray for our son, put lotion on his feet and hands, and read a story to him from his picture Bible.  What relieved my anxiety the most, however, was the time I took to express gratitude.  I'd list out loud what I was thankful for - a sunny day, attentive nurses, a good night's sleep - and the heaviness would be lifted.  Intentionally looking for things or people to express gratitude to or for made the long road to recovery a bit easier.

This weekend we had a chance to spend time with good friends.  These are folks we've known since college days.  It was obvious that we were grateful to be spending time together.  Playing games, visiting Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art, and just catching up with one another over shared meals, we expressed our gratitude for being together.  Each of us has different joys and challenges, but we all share a desire to take time to be thankful for what we have, and where we are in life.

Gratitude has made it possible for us to walk through the difficult days since Lacy left us.  We miss him, and look forward to seeing him again.  But we most often express gratitude for the time we had with him, and the joy we experienced together.

This last week, I spend time with my siblings going through our parents' photos and keepsakes.  We learned so much about Mom and Dad through correspondence they kept over the years, and through sharing the stories we'd heard from them.  As we looked through pictures, and read letters, we were so grateful that we could walk through this task of organizing the documentation of our parents' lives together.  We laughed and wept together.   

I've kept a journal since Lacy died, and have saved a few newspaper clippings that have meant a lot to me.  One of the clippings is an essay on gratitude given as a Thanksgiving Day address by our then-governor, Mike Beebe.  Here is a quote from that address:

When we are giving thanks, when we are showing gratitude, that is when we have power.  And here's why.  When you are truly gracious, when your mind is set upon grace and gratitude, there is one thing you cannot have, and that is fear.

I agree with Governor Beebe.  Gratitude is a powerful force to heal and transform our thinking from powerlessness and fear to hope and renewal.  "In everything give thanks..." I Thessalonians 5: 18a

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Suddenly...It's Spring

Spring comes without warning, it seems.  Suddenly everything is green, flowers are blooming, and the world is waking up.  New life is everywhere.  Robins are hopping around our backyard, some are building nests in nearby trees and shrubs.  There is an expectancy in the air. The cycle of grief is a recursive one.  Back and forth it seems to go for months on end.  Great sadness, numbness, depression, exhaustion; until one day a memory comes and it is not painful but poignant.  Rather than a tear falling, a smile comes and with it a hint of joy and a lightness of spirit. Ten months have passed since we lost our Lacy.  We made it through some big firsts; birthday, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas.  The anniversary date of his home-going is not far away. In these ten months, Kenny and I have begun to find our way into new patterns and traditions. Sunday afternoons have become a time for visiting friends, enjoying walks, or just relaxing...
Read more

Countdown

Four weeks from today will be two years since we lost Lacy. I keep getting reminders on my Facebook feed of the last few weeks of Lacy's life.  The last year, I took a picture of him every week.  I wanted to make sure I could remember him, and the good - and bad - times we had together. I feel a sense of dread about May 28.  I am thankful that it falls on Memorial Day, so we will not have to go to work.  I am also thankful that we took every opportunity to spend time with him.  The last time was 5pm on May 27, 2016.  Nine hours later, he was gone. As I drove away from the nursing home that evening, a scripture popped into my head:  ...that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection... (Philippians 3:10) That power has sustained us for nearly two years.
Read more

Day by Day

Alan is doing better since his hospitalization.  His outbursts are fewer, and are less "pitched" than before his med changes.  The staff assigned to him at his group home are doing well with him.  They have to pick their battles, as we all do, and are trying to keep him to a schedule. We took Alan to his neurology appointment this week.  Usually when someone asks Alan how he is doing, he just says "fine," but on this day he answered, "My knees are weak, and I have to lean over and hold on to things." After examination, Alan's doctor recommended physical therapy, as Alan is perilously close to falling.  While we don't know if Alan will be able to follow a therapists directions, or will even want to cooperate, we will arrange for a consultation. I can deal with the nuts and bolts of being an advocate and sometimes caregiver for my son, but I find it hard to maintain the focus I need when I hear his say that he is having trouble walking.  It is ...
Read more