Holiday Dread (hint: There is light at the end of this tunnel)

I've already begun to dread the holiday season...Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve.  Grief rolls back into my life like a heavy fog.  I have to remind myself to walk with my back straight - I feel myself slump off and on all day long.

I know there are other folks like me out there.  The constant parade of commercials depicting families joyfully celebrating; the music that seems to never, ever end;  these remind me of what I've lost. 

I could make a list of my losses, but that's not the point of this post. 

What I've realized is that the dread of the holidays is much worse than the actual celebrating of them.  I find so much joy in our families.  Kenny's brother and sister-in-law will be nearby this Christmas, and we'll be able to see them much more often in the years to come.  My extended family gets together at Thanksgiving, and we always have a great time.    Christmas Eve services at our church comfort us in ways we have not always appreciated. 

Yes, I feel down right now, but putting myself out there to celebrate those I still have, and the joy of what is to come will ease that burden of grief. 

I'm thankful for my blessings - too numerous to count.  I'm joyful knowing that the people I love are near, and the ones I've lost are safe. 

There is light at the end of this tunnel of grief. 

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