Losing and Finding

I wrote in my paper journal this week that I want to start writing for my blog more regularly.  Since Lacy's death, my posts have been sporadic.

I began this online journal to chronicle our family's journey as we dealt with the impact of our son's challenges.  When Lacy died, it seemed that much of my reason to write died with him.   Another blog that I began following shortly after Lacy was diagnosed with HD had the same sort of purpose: to document the impact on a family when a seemingly healthy baby presents with a deadly inherited disease.  After the death of her son, the author of this blog stopped writing.  What was there to write about?  The disease had taken her son.

Lacy died on May 28, 2016.  On August 14, 2016, I began a paper journal of my walk though the "valley of the shadow of death."   Each morning, I read that day's devotional entry in "My Utmost for His Highest" by Oswald Chambers.  I wrote about how I was feeling that day.  Songs or prayers that I came across are written on those pages.

On the first page of that paper journal, I taped a poem by my dear friend.  She's seen me at my best and worst.  Jenny and her family have been among our closest friends throughout our life as a family.  Jenny's a writer, and has written some beautiful poems and songs.  This one had spent many years on my refrigerator door, and now is the opening entry in my journal through grief and toward hope and healing.

"What IT is All About"

IT is about losing and finding.

Not finding the thing you lost,
But finding something you had not thought of.

Losing what you thought you needed
But finding something you needed more.

             ~ Virginia Giles, Copyright 2000


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