New Year Thoughts...the other shoe...
I was reading a post by Emily Rapp this week, and something she said resonated with me. Her son suffers from Tay Sachs disease and is not expected to live much longer. All of his young life (he is 3) she has been raging against this disease and has mourned the childhood he would never have and the life that will be cut short. This week she wrote about "waiting for the other shoe to drop."
The course of HD means that there will always be another shoe...another loss to expect. Several shoes have dropped for us this year. I have spent this last 18 months in a fog of sorrow and grief. But this Christmas, and the joy it brought our family, gave me hope that there would be more milestones like this one. We are changing and adapting to how HD has impacted who we are, and what we can do as a family.
We went through the same kind of transformation when we adopted Lacy. When we finally accepted the limitations we needed to impose to be able to function as a family, our outlook on life was much more positive. Seems like we always come full circle to the same roads we have traveled before. We are just older and little more set in our ways. Change is harder now.
So I think my New Year's resolution will be to stop waiting for the other shoe. Kenny and I both feel more positive this year than last. I think in the next few months we'll see how this newfound upbeat attitude will weather the ups and downs of HD. I can't say "from now on, we won't be sad...we'll be happy." Ridiculous, and not possible. But right now, our outlook is brighter. That's a gift, and one we will be enjoying for some time to come.
The course of HD means that there will always be another shoe...another loss to expect. Several shoes have dropped for us this year. I have spent this last 18 months in a fog of sorrow and grief. But this Christmas, and the joy it brought our family, gave me hope that there would be more milestones like this one. We are changing and adapting to how HD has impacted who we are, and what we can do as a family.
We went through the same kind of transformation when we adopted Lacy. When we finally accepted the limitations we needed to impose to be able to function as a family, our outlook on life was much more positive. Seems like we always come full circle to the same roads we have traveled before. We are just older and little more set in our ways. Change is harder now.
So I think my New Year's resolution will be to stop waiting for the other shoe. Kenny and I both feel more positive this year than last. I think in the next few months we'll see how this newfound upbeat attitude will weather the ups and downs of HD. I can't say "from now on, we won't be sad...we'll be happy." Ridiculous, and not possible. But right now, our outlook is brighter. That's a gift, and one we will be enjoying for some time to come.
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