Random Fall Musings and Memories

Fall will be here tomorrow.  Leaves will begin to turn and will soon stand in deep drifts on the streets in our subdivision.  The evening air has that crisp bite that signals the change of seasons.

Fall is my favorite time of year, but also holds some bittersweet memories for me.  I have a picture of my mother and father standing in front of their house in October of 2001.  The leaves are turning.  They stand close to each other, their faces impassive.  Only four weeks from the day that picture was taken, my dad was gone.  He knew his days were numbered that day we took the picture.  We pretended it was just like any other day.

Sometimes, I know we are pretending it is just another day.  Overall, everything is going well.  It's those little chinks in the armor that we ignore that will eventually crack.

Lacy had an incident of choking on food recently.  He is fine, but the event signals a subtle change.  It may be weeks or months before we have any more of those incidents, or this event may mean that choking will be a weekly problem.

Fall means Thanksgiving when Kenny, Lacy, and I, my mother, brother, sister. and their families get together.  Lacy will spend as much time as he can with us.  This year, he will have staff at his apartment at night, so we will not have a repeat of the desperate experience of last Thanksgiving.  He will not be terrified because he is not in his apartment.  He will be in a place where he is happy and feels safe.

We are in the late summer/early autumn of life.  It's a great time when the push to establish ourselves is lessening.  We have nothing to prove to anyone.  We are happy with who we are, successful in our careers, comfortable with ourselves and each other.  I find myself remembering happy times with Lacy. We still have those times, just a little tempered at times by the confusion as a result of HD.

Lacy, too, is in the autumn of his life.   He is happy with who he is, and comfortable with his life.   He has nothing to prove to anyone.

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